Why, Oh Why Did You Leave Me?!!

Everybody has some favorite products -- delicious morsels that we consume, a superior cleaning fluid or tool, wearing apparel, something that we usually wind up taking for granted.  The next thing we know, the product's lovely parent company, for whatever reason and in its infinite wisdom, decides to stop making the product.  Our lives are never the same.  We may protest, in the old days sending snail mail or making a telephone call; nowadays via e-mail and/or social media.  Less than every one in a million times, it seems, the company may relent and start making the product again.  Or, as in the case of some products made for consumption in the USA with high-fructose corn syrup, it may produce a certain amount of old-school product made with sugar for consumption abroad, which we in the USA's larger population centers may find in ethnic food stores or sections in larger grocery chains, but other than that, we are largely SOL.

Interestingly enough, my experience, as well as anecdotal evidence I've collected while doing some research for this post, has led me to the unhappy conclusion that many companies suffer from considerable long-term memory loss concerning discontinued products.  Or perhaps they have a shortage of employees past legal drinking age who suffer from lack of curiosity and research savvy, but on two occasions I have written to companies about their products that I miss and was told "we have no record of that product".  Alas, perhaps Claudia and a few others live in a parallel universe with cookies, sodas, and other sundries that those in this universe never had access to.  Nah nah nah nah nah!  Or maybe we're all just suffering from the same mass hallucination.

Anyway, in hopes that happy memories of some of your favorite products may be jogged, submitted for your consideration are some of my favorite discontinued products, in no particular order:

1.  Agree Shampoo and Conditioner - This very fragrant hair care duo promised to "banish the greasies".  I don't know about that, but it had a one-of-a kind delectable scent that lingered all day.  We all were provided a sample during a hygiene unit in health class, and I was an enthusiastic consumer until sometime in the 90's when the formula was changed.  The original formula is still available on eBay from time to time, but the cost being prohibitive, the Agree experience resides in my memory only.

2.  7-Up Gold - This amber-colored soda, redolent with various spice flavors, came out in the late-80's and accompanied me on many a trip to my job at a local senior-care facility.  I almost always walked to work, and the summer of '88 was a scorcher, with 90-degree F. days and high humidity being the norm from June into August.  I would start out with a full frosty can, and finish my trek with a lukewarm empty one half a mile later.  Awesome!

3.  Sunspray Coast - This was a yellow striped bar that smelled, I think, quite similar to Sunflowers perfume, with maybe a citrus undertone.  Like Agree, the fragrance lasted all day.  Haven't seen this anywhere since our local Hills department stores went out of business sometime in the 90's.  Damn, wish I had stocked up!

4.  Lipton Almond Pleasure Tea - I discovered this during a short stay with my aunt and uncle in early 1987.  My mother and I had gone up to visit New Year's afternoon.  We did receive an early warning about a predicted snowfall, and my mother, who always hates to drive in the snow, promised we would leave long before the flakes flew, but you know how it is when you get to visiting.  Owing to my drunken attendance of a New Year's Eve party, I was already sleep-deprived; we were invited to stay over at AuntandUncleland once the snow began in earnest, so I spent a second night short on sleep, staying up with my cousins watching the snow.  The community that they lived in was finally dug out of the snow early our third day there, and I awoke with a cold.  My cousin, Joy, entreated me to pamper myself with some of this tea, insisting that it would make my throat feel so much better.  It did, and I conned her out of a few bags to take home.  It was an herbal tea, so no caffeine, but what indulgent almond flavor!  I don't know exactly when the name change occurred but it was sold until around 2000, give or take, as Lipton Almond Dessert Tea.  A reasonable facsimile can be fashioned by adding, to your taste, some DaVinci Amaretto Syrup to your favorite tea -- white tea produces the closest match  according to my palate.  Not quite the same, but it makes me miss the original a little less!

5.  Big John's Beans 'N Fixins - Sublime whether heated through or not, these beans were actually two cans taped together -- the top (smaller) can contained onions and bacon housed in a tangy BBQ sauce; the bottom can had the beans in (very little) liquid.  These beans were flavorful, seasoned just right, and not runny.  My god, how much time and money I've spent doctoring up the sorry excuse for baked beans the competitors turn out these days!

 

6.  Avon Honeysuckle Perfume - Although I enjoy Bath and Bodyworks Honeysuckle scent, it's missing a little special something Avon's had -- maybe just my ten-year-old self's innocent nose -- but wasn't Avon's Honeysuckle a little sweeter?

  

7.  Oatmeal Raisin Chex - Tasted good, good for you, these came out in the late 80's, probably (I'm just guessing here) part of a campaign not to let Quaker Oats and General Mills reap all the rewards of the newly-discovered benefits of heart-healthy oats on cholesterol.  These had plenty of raisins and a good oat flavor, and stayed pretty crispy in milk.



8.  Team Flakes -  Speaking of non-sog, this cereal's commercial slogan was "Stays Crunchy Right To The Bottom Of The Bowl!", and it did!  Made of corn, wheat, oats and rice, this cereal had a not-too-sweet flavor that kept it popular for years.  Not popular enough, unfortunately, to survive the corporate acquisition feeding frenzy that reached a fever pitch in the late 80's/early 90's. 

 

9.  Post Toasties - Post's much crispier answer to Kellogg's Corn Flakes.  In the 70's and early 80's, my parents, in their infinite wisdom, decided it would be fun to get an RV and go to various area campgrounds and spend weekends.  Let it be said that Claudia never enjoyed this endeavor and was grateful when this practice ended after their separation in '81.  The last three years, we actually had a permanent lot in Slippery Rock, PA, where we parked the trailer and spent every weekend from May to September.  While our local Foodland supermarket didn't carry Post Toasties or Team Flakes, the Golden Dawn near the Yogi Bear Campground did, so I ate these two cereals primarily at camp. 

 

10.  Orudis KT - This was the OTC version of Ketoprofen, a wonderful NSAID.  In my long war with back crankiness and stiffness, and a short-term grumbly shoulder battle, this worked almost as well as Day-Pro (Oxaprozin), and much better than either Celebrex or Relafen.  After the flurry of concern over cardiovascular events associated with prescription NSAIDs like Vioxx, Celebrex, and Bextra, Orudis was taken off the market by Wyeth Pharmaceuticals in August, 2005, despite the FDA assuring that it was "not withdrawn from sale due to reasons of safety and effectiveness".  Many of us miss it.

http://www.ehow.com/about_5182778_orudis-discontinued_.html

 

11.  McDLT - "Hot side hot, cool side cool", MickeyD's magic slogan in the late-80's.  As long as they sold it, which was not long enough, I got the McDLT every time we went to McDonald's.  My poor friend Scott and the drive-thru girl had to break the unhappy news on the unfortunate day, and my tears fell like rain.  OK, maybe I exaggerate just a tad, but not much.  The hot side had the burger; the lettuce, cheese, tomato, and mayo were on the cool side.  Depending on who you believe, the McDLT fell victim to either its environmentally-unfriendly polystyrene packaging; the laziness of customers who protested having to (gasp!) put the sandwich together(!); or the possibility that some McDonald's locations didn't invest in the proper equipment which would have kept the hot side any warmer than warm.  One big, fat raspberry from Claudia...

 

12.  Long John Silver's Fried Oysters - (No pics for this one - sorry, gang.  If anyone finds one, please reply to this post with a link for me, I'd certainly appreciate!)  Again, poor Scott and the counter girl were the bearers of bad news.  For a few brief shining years, I could get fried oysters regularly, without having to wait for Mother's annual Christmas oyster soiree, and Scott would eat chicken planks.  Scott would get my share of the hush puppies, and I gorged on Scott's french fries.  And then Long John's ruined my life (sniff, sniff).  OK, another exaggeration.  I've always wanted to try their lobster bites, but until the last 27 of 75 total pounds are lost, no dice, Chino.

13.  Chunky Chili Beef Soup - (Sorry, despite my best efforts, again, no pics; you know the drill!)  This was the first thing I ate post-wisdom tooth extraction, age 18, and it was great stuff!  Truly a chunky soup, full of roast beef as opposed to ground beef, alot of beans and a very savory broth.  I know Campbell's has a similar line of chili --the Firehouse, the Roadhouse and the Grilled Steak.  I have not tried the latter yet (I'll update if I can find it to try it), but the former two are nowhere close and have not impressed me.    

14.  Pepsi Light - The time is right/For Pepsi Light/Lemony Pepsi Light/We put a little lemony taste in/And took out/Half the calories

I miss the jingles of the 70's...

But the song really did say it all.  I didn't drink Pepsi Light for the lo-cal thing (once upon a time, I was very skinny -- hard to remember now), I honestly liked the taste, although I think now it was probably fake-lemony.  I was about 11 when Pepsi Light came out, and this was another thing I consumed primarily at camp.  At that point, we were camping at Fox Den Acres Campground, near Donegal, PA.  I would never have been able to persuade my parental units to buy me a six-pack of this, but what I did with my allowance was my own business, so I frequently went to the camp store and bought me a can.  Fox Den was, in alot of ways, my favorite campground, if I had a favorite.  I would take my Pepsi Light up to the pond, walk around a bit, and once or twice, even enjoyed one during the rental of a paddleboat, soaking up the sun.  The good old days!

15.  Alpine White Bar - Sweet, smooth, sensual...and those were just the commercials!  Creamy white chocolate+chopped roasted almonds=pure heaven!  N-E-S-T-L-E-S did make the very best...until they took it off the shelves sometime in the 90's.  We can make our own simply by chopping and toasting some almonds, melting some primo white chocolate, mixing the two, and freezing the results.  But it's not the same.

16.  And the product that started the idea for this whole post in the first place...Nabisco Sugar Rings - These were about 3 inches of sugary deliciousness, about 1/8 inch thick, with a hole in the middle so you could put them on your fingers like rings and nibble them down.  They had scalloped edges with a spiral between the hole and the edge, just covered with granules of sugar.  YUM!  These and Nabisco Sugar Wafers were pretty much the only store-bought cookies I really ate much as a child.  The best with milk right before bed. 

Let me just tell you that I flatly refused to even write this post until I had the name and a picture of this cookie.  Not my mother, nor any of my friends could remember the name.  During the Googling/searching process, I stumbled upon a website where I finally found my answer.  Here's our discussion:  http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/865608
My sincerest thanks to all the Chowhounds who helped me out with the Sugar Rings, especially goodhealthgourmet, who provided the all-important Nabisco Sugar Ring picture.  My search inspired at least one other (I believe successful) cookie search.  If you want to find the name of a long-lost food product, try the Chowhounds.  They're awesome folks!

So, those are my favorite discontinued products.  If you all have any you'd like to talk about, I'd love to hear from you.  Until then...

Good vibes to all of you,

Claudia